I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
