He had one of those small greek statue penises
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize