So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
