brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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