If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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