Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
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