Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
