Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
