Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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