she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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