Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
