he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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