Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
