Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
