Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize