Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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