"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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