hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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