I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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