I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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