people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
