i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
