This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
