Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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