I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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