Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Randomize
