It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
