ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
