I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
