White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
