people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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