it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
