dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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