Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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