i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
