Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
