Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize