If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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