i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize