Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
