Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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