a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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