you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
