I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
