I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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