I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
