I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
