Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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