you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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