My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
