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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
