Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
