Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
