things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
