I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
