at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
