Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
