So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
