My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
