Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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