nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize