i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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