Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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