What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
