you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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