matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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