I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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