yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize