That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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